WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?

Throughout 1989 and 1990, my collection of 7"s expanded, with my trips to the local record shop having become an almost weekly ritual. I watched and listened to the charts on Top Of The Pops and Radio 1 as my current favourites rose and fell week after week, and read Smash Hits cover to cover, taking in every word, putting up the posters, reading the lyrics, and fantasising about either meeting my musical idols or becoming one myself - i think nearly every teenager has mimed to their favourite songs in front of the mirror with either a hairbrush microphone for girls or a cricket bat in lieu of a guitar for boys. My obsession with music, although occasionally discussed with schoolmates, was largely a solitary thing, confined to the four walls of my bedroom, where i would also make my own "radio show" tapes, compiling my own charts and reading out articles from Smash Hits. My own little world.

The Top 40 was a real pic 'n' mix of musical styles in those years, with Hip Hop and Rap acts from home and abroad, the increasing dominance of Dance music, manufactured Pop groups, Rock, and hits from some of the "old guard" such as Phil Collins, Queen, Rod Stewart, and Elton John. Towards the end of '89 there was the beginning of what was labelled "Baggy", a collection of Indie bands using the traditional guitar/keyboards/bass/drums line up, but who were playing their own interpretation of the Acid House music that had swept the country just a year or so before. The term "baggy" didn't just apply to the loose-limbed, funky sound: the fans of such bands as The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays (the leading lights of the scene) were wearing flared jeans and baggy t-shirts, looking not unlike the Hippies of the late 60's! I remember seeing a few people at school wearing huge jeans and thinking them utterly ridiculous. At the time, i was still very much a Pop kid, with a growing interest in Dance music. My singles collection didn't contain any of the baggy bands, and it was a few years before i was able to appreciate The Stone Roses debut album, which despite its relatively low chart position just inside the Top 20, has been rightly hailed as a classic. Sonia, Beats International, Roxette, Pet Shop Boys, Betty Boo, Guru Josh, 808 State, Adamski, and Twenty4Seven ft. Captain Hollywood were amongst the singles i bought at the time.  I didn't really have one single act that i was a huge fan of, crushes on certain bubbly Liverpudlian redheads aside! But that was set to change late in 1990....



One of the musical highlights of the year for me and a legion of teenage pop fans was the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party, usually held in November and shown live on BBC 1. In the months before, readers were invited to vote for their favourite bands, singles, videos, most fanciable, most stupid haircut (always won by DJ/kids tv presenter Pat Sharp and his godawful mullet), and the awards were given out inbetween mimed performances from some of the biggest pop acts of that year, with one or two new bands. Sunday November 11th 1990, at 3;30pm, glued to the tv. I can't actually remember who played that day, with the exception of an up and coming band who were to be the soundtrack to the next year of my life: EMF. Coming out of the Forest Of Dean, dressed in what looked liked skateboarder fashions (baggy shorts and t-shirts, backwards baseball hats etc), and playing a clash of indie rock and dance that coincided with the recent baggy scene, they proceeded to play their debut single, "Unbelievable", whilst throwing themselves about the stage and trashing their equipment. It was the most exciting thing i'd seen at that point, and i declared myself a fan from that point. I never went as far as trying to dress like them - i was far too shy and quiet to draw such attention to myself - but as soon as their single was available in the local shop i snapped it up. I played it over and over, trying to work out what the lyrics were, dancing about my bedroom, and quietly thrilling at the "What the f*** waaaas that" sample that radio and tv had missed entirely, and the b-side, a live rendition of their self titled song, which according to the lyrics meant "Ecstacy Mother F***ers",although later on this was toned down to "Epsom Mad Funkers". Any articles on the band in Smash Hits were cut out and kept, tv appearances watched intently, and my Casio keyboard duly trashed in homage to their stage-wrecking antics. I was 14, ok? I also snapped up any special band-themed magazines i could find, whilst waiting for more music. Two more singles followed, "I Believe" which was another Top 10 hit (Unbelievable had peaked at 3), and "Children", which was less successful, just creeping inside the Top 20, and in May '91, the debut album, Schubert Dip. Having saved my paper round money, i purchased the cassette and played it repeatedly: at home in my bedroom, and on my walkman whenever i was out. It soundtracked my walk to and from school, my paper round, basically any time that i left the house. From the faded in backing vocals and bass drum drop that heralded the beginning of the opening track "Children", through the italian house-style piano, record scratching,  and strange samples that sounded like snatches of long wave radio broadcasts on "Long Summer Days"and "I Believe", and the lyrics of adolescent angst on "Travelling Not Running", i was hooked.  I learned the lyrics off by heart, singing along in my best impersonation of singer James Atkin. I remember the controversy over the spoken word sample of John Lennon's killer, Mark Chapman, on "Lies" (something that was removed from the single version).  Although i've no doubt that i still bought other singles in that time, and i distinctly remember buying the debut albums by Seal and C & C Music Factory with birthday money that August, the sound of EMF was constantly in my ears for the whole year.







Eventually, like most obsessions do in your teens, my interest began to wane as they disappeared from the public eye. When they returned a few months into '92 with a harder, grungier sound i, like many of their fans, had lost interest, and i had a new favourite band, but one who would become more than just a passing interest. For the first time in 6 years, the Nutty Train was about to pull into the station....

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